Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
