HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Come home, I'm drunk on the porch and pretending to smoke breadsticks like cigarettes. Enticing, right?
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Randomize
