Pappa wants mamma naked
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
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