Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Today I ate a sandwich and half my molar fell off, feels like a semi sprayed into my jaw.
I wish i was spraying into your jaw.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
