Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
