he wants to bone in the snuggie
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
