Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
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