God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
Randomize
