Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
all she had left on were here heels. phone five
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
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