It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
Randomize
