i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Randomize
