Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
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