Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
My life is a joke. Told everyone last night that they could call me Mrs. McCormick because I'm gonna end up alone with a handle of peach vodka anyways.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
Randomize
