Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
