how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
We need a shit load of segways right now
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
