No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I will pee on everything he values.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I'm right down the road from AJ's old house and I'm getting mixed feelings. My vagina is remembering good dick. But the rest of me is remembering horrible times.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
Randomize