Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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