Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
pretty sure I blew his mind with the sex last night. He repaid me with a five minute conversation about power rangers.
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize
