we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
