so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
