Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
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