Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
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