it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
