I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
My liver is screaming fuck you right now.
Randomize
