Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I love having hate sex.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
Randomize
