just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize