i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
