Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
My Higher Power is John Stamos
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
