we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
You were yelling at a tree saying it should be in the forest..
Don't judge me.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
Randomize
