Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I feel like I'm in dance class right now
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
Randomize