clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
we just pregamed for our presentation... gotta love group bonding
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
