I'm gonna have a badass scar
At the hair cuttery. A father here with his daughter just answered his phone "ken's whorehouse"...Now I remember why I used to pay more for haircuts.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
