That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
