You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Randomize
