when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
