New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
