we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Remember when we pinky swore we'd never feel hungover alone...
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
try to milk me bitch
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
