This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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