it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Accidentally gagged on my toothbrush and puked up a Walgreen's cheeseburger. 1) I am not going to be on top of my game tonight. 2) Since when do I have a gag reflex? 3) Walgreen's cheeseburgers are awesome.
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
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