yeah, but that could mean anything in Denmark.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
Randomize
