just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I don't wanna SLEEP with him, I want to start bar fights with him. There's a difference.
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