Banned from zoo.
Again?
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
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