she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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