she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
