Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
