I wanna get so fucked up that I try to catch a coyote in a pillowcase, breakdance fight a lion, and send back some toast at Denny's when I see its slightly burnt.
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize