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I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
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