Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
