I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize
