Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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