dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
