I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
My mother is currently smoking weed with a dying bee so his last moments aren't miserable. And she wonders why I rescued a grasshopper missing a leg.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
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