you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Randomize
