I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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