You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
It is becoming increasingly more likely that my entire halloween costume will be entirely composed of borrowed clothing from the two girls I'm hooking up
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
