i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize
