This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
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