He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Randomize
