How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
dude you pointed at my dad's crotch and said I'd tap that. I didn't even know you were gay.
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
