Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
we should start having sex in the shower. less clean up.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
where are my pants?
in the oven.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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