Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm going to get like 25 drinks at their wedding and just leave them sitting around or give them to hobos.
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
