I wannas sexs uuuuu
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
