i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
