Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
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