This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Come to wine Wednesday bro. We have a fog machine
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
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