Dude I'm so glad we're not friends anymore. It would have made fucking your stepmom last night really awkward. Dickwad.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
Randomize
